THE BUNN HILL MEMORIAL RUNNER
http://www.BunnHill.com/BunnHillRun/

VOLUME 19  -  JUNE 1997
 PUBLISHER: E. R. WHITE         EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: W. H. BARKER

THE OFFICIAL VOICE OF
 AMERICA'S MOST EXCLUSIVE ROAD RACE
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INVASION OF
GENERATION X!

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NEW ENTRANTS SHINE, BUT WALLACE PREVAILS
"Mystery Map" Remains Puzzle — "Nobody Knows Nothin’"
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BRANFORD, CT (AP) — Generation X has discovered the Bunn Hill Memorial Run! Ancient Sage Gary Truce shepherded in almost fifteen members of recent Harpur College runners the night before BHMR’96, hoping that they might be influenced by the experience and sagacity of the mighty Bunn Hill Runners (Truce: "Just remember kids, this could happen to you if you lead similar lives of debauchery and negligence!"). The awestruck young people became particular quiet when they realized they were finally in the presence of the legendary Gary Wallace. (Truce: "Do not excite him. He’s likely to pour beer on anyone who disturbs his trance.) And they were extremely reverential when it came to greeting the High Chancellor (Truce: "And also be warned — the IRS is the Dark Side of the Force. The HC could have you audited for the next thirty-seven years.")

The next morning 21 Generation Xers participated in the largest BHMR in history! Attendance records came tumbling down. There were 28 finishers (19 men and 9 women), and the young folk certainly gave the "regulars" some stiff competition. But not to worry, gentle reader! No, the long tradition of Gary Wallace victories, stretching back to the 5th Annual BHMR in 1975, has not been ended! In a heart stopping, brutal, grueling struggle, Wallace beat off a valiant effort by Art Gunter and Warren Kish, crossing the finish line at 41:04, three seconds (!) ahead of his opponents!

Not all of the "regulars" completely understood where the new runners came from. Roger Knight spent most of the run muttering to himself: "Where did..., I mean, how did they find..., er, who are they..., just who do they think they are!..., I have enough trouble with..., I mean, why to me?...." And so on. He continued to mutter on like this for the rest of the day, but as usual nobody paid any attention.

However, strangest of all was "the map." Ten minutes before the start of the run the Generation X Coordinator Elyse Doti (who, incidentally, is the first Gen Xer to gain full membership in the BHMR — congratulations!) was given a "new course map" by an alien from Star Wars (see artist’s rendition). "Yes, " Elyse remarked to a BHMR reporter, "it did seem a little odd to meet an alien — in fact, I honestly can’t remember the last time this happened. But among all the usual BHMR oddballs and loonies the alien seemed to fit in quite well. And he said he was from the Executive Committee...."

The Generation X contingent dutifully followed the new changes (see "Copy of Mystery Map") until Race Coordinator Joe Knight forced them back onto the regular course. "I come and waste two perfectly good hours each year on this bunch of yo-yos," Joe was overheard yelling to them, "and if you think I’m going to hang around for the rest of the afternoon searching Pennsylvania just to find a bunch of lost baby BHMRs, well, that ain’t a-gonna happen! Git back on the course!!" Sure that they would now be disqualified for not following the new course, the Generation Xers dejectedly finished, only to find that their "new" course map was a fraud.

The Executive Committee immediately went into emergency session to assess the situation. According to the High Chancellor, everyone was happy that aliens had decided to visit the run — "I just hope we had a T-shirt that would fit him" — but no one could give a reason why an alien would want to misdirect all these wonderfully idealist young people. The meeting was then adjourned until next year since Wallace announced that he had to return a package to the Binghamton Costume Rental Service.

 

Alien offering "mystery map" (missing graphic)

"Copy of Mystery Map." (missing graphic)

SENIOR CITIZEN NEWS

VESTAL (AARP) — In news of relevance to senior citizens… The BHMR Executive Committee voted this fall to change the O.T.H. Division age cut-off for 1997 from 50 and 1/2 to 51 and 1/2. The effect of this on the numbers eligible for the O.T.H. Division was not announced.



BACK COPIES AVAILABLE

BRANFORD, CT (AP) — BHMRunner Publisher E.R. White and Editor W.H. Barker strongly denied reports that they had failed to mail copies of recent BHMRunners to non-attending members. "This is simply a slanderous lie," stated Barker. "And besides," he continued,"most people are happy when their amount of junk mail decreases."

 

However, if anyone has misplaced any recent copies of the BHMRunner, the Publisher has agreed to mail replacement copies "to the disorganized ninnies." If you wish replacement copies, just fill in the simple form shown below and return to W. Barker in Branford, CT.

• • • • • • • • •

BHMR Replacement Order Form
(missing form)

"BUNN-HILLER-OF-THE-YEAR 1996"

RESTON (IRS News Service)—Down through the ages athletic coaches have dedicated themselves to the betterment of their young charges, exposing them to the best examples of sporting excellence and protecting them from the darker and more disreputable aspects of their sport. Following in this revered tradition, Gary Truce unselfishly has shared his BHMR experience — ("It’s made me everything I am today, it really has!") — with twenty-one of his young runners. By introducing these young people to the pinnacle of road racing, Gary Truce has affected these impressionable lives forever, and we proudly declare (for a second year in a row!):

Gary "Ancient Sage" Truce

BUNN-HILLER-OF-THE-YEAR 1996!

(We sadly note, however, that not all of the young runners’ parents fully appreciate the benefits gained by their children’s introduction to the rigors of Bunn Hill. Anyone wishing to contribute to the Truce Legal Defense Fund should contact the Athletic Department at Binghamton University.)

OFFICIAL RESULTS
26th ANNUAL BUNN HILL MEMORIAL RUN,
FANATICS DIVISION
June 23, 1996 6.85 Miles

Men's course record: Gary Wallace 36:14 (1981)
Women's course record: Tamara Sayre 42:35 (1990)

Place Name Time

1 Gary Wallace 41:04
2
Art Gunther 41:07
2 Warren Kish 41:07
4
Dan Harrison 43:17
4 Jeff Moreland 43:17
4 Crazy Joe Weiss 43:17
7 Mighty Paul Quinn 43:38
8 Gabe Yankowitz 43:39
9 Josh Kantowitz 44:31
10 Michael Lee 46:30
11 Paul Bennet 47:18
12 Jamie "Gak" Kimberley 48:20
13 Gary Truce 51:20
14 Chris White 54:04
15 Steve Appel 56:32
16
Kathy Barone 58:38
16 Kelli Bert 58:38
16 Elyse Doti 58:38
16 Melissa Epstein 58:38
16 Erin Kelly 58:38 
16 Mary Ellen Lennon 58:38
16 Lauren Wallack  58:38
16 DebWidman   58:38
24 Rudolf "Freight Train" Carlstein 59:02
24 Roger Knight  59:02
26 Jim Sullivan 64:54
27 Bill Barker 66:07
28 Kristin Minalick 68:20

4th ANNUAL PRESERVE YOUR LIFE DIVISION

June 23, 1996 Unmeasured!

Charlie Collier {No times allowed!}

WALKERS DIVISION

June 23, 1996 6.85 Miles

Ellen Appel {No times allowed!}
Lauren Appel *

Morgan Appel

Betsy White
Alana Yankowitz

* Lauren Appel should be added to the 1995 Walkers Divison finishers.

 

THE 1997 BHMR COMMITTEE

Steve and Ellen Appel
Lauren and Morgan Appel

Canine Coordinators
393 Underwood Rd
Vestal, New York 13850
(607) 748-4409 748-4473 (mach)

Bob "Flash" Fellman
Confederacy Coordinator
605 Baugh Road
Nashville, Tennessee 37221
(615) 646-1878
Bill and Gisela Schecter
Sam Schecter
Team Physicians
465 Mirada Road
Half Moon Bay, CA 94019
(415) 726-1339

Greg Appling
Rocky Mountains Coordinator
5558 S. Lansing Court
Englewood, CO 80111

Rol and Averil Fessenden
New England Coordinators
14 McLellan Street
Brunswick, Maine 04011
(207) 729-4465
76234.3636@compuserve.com
Gary and Marcia Shull
Geriatrics Coord. & Nurse
9444 Long Lane
Cincinnati, Ohio 45231
(513) 522-8076
Kim Berlin
The Long Island Coordinator
On Long Island somewhere….
  Gary and Marcia Shull
Geriatrics Coord. & Nurse
9444 Long Lane
Cincinnati, Ohio 45231
(513) 522-8076
Bill Barker and Betsy White
Corresponding Secretaries
24 McLellan Street
Brunswick, ME 04011
(207) 729-8023 or 725-3571 (office)
(207) 725-3750 (fax)
barker@bowdoin.edu
Roger Knight & Cheryl Zwart
Baltimore Bazooie/Guardian
9347 Furrow Court
Ellicott City, MD 21042
(410) 750-2890
Roger_Knight@mccormick.com
Jeanne Willson
Starting Time Coordinator
5953 South Iola Way
Englewood, Colorado 80111

Steve and Mary Buglione
The Human Torch
1211 Waring Ave.
Bronx, New York 10469

John Leeming and Pam Trudo
(Almost) Youth Coordinator
111 Blanchard Road
Cumberland Ctr, ME 04021
(207) 829-5879 (h)/ 770-1252 (w)
exalano@aol.com
Jim Sullivan & Pat Wrobel
Chris Sullivan
Intergenerational Coordinators
400 Pickwick Drive
Vestal, New York 13850
(607) 754-9705
jsulliva@binghamton.edu

Tom Carter
FOP Tamer
He's out there somewhere!

Mike "Cap'n America" O'Brien
Official Cinematographer
58 Kirklees Road
Pittsford, New York 14534
(716) 248-2973
obrien@rge.com
Gary Truce
Ancient Sage Coordinator
3201 Stack Avenue
Endwell, New York 13760
(607) 785-3756
(607) 777-4597 (fax)
gtruce@binghamton.edu
Charlie Collier
High Chancellor
12069 Greywing Sq, Apt. A3
Reston, Virginia 20191-1868
(703) 476-1813
Mike Olson
Kristin (Tschinkel) Olson
Investigative Reporters
333 Tracy Creek Road, Apt. 1
Vestal, NY 13850
m.olson1@juno.com
Gary Wallace
First Place Coordinator
BHMR Webmaster
49 Hibernia Road
Rockaway, NJ 07866
(973)  983-1136
gwall@openix.com
Elyse Doti
Generation X Co-coordinator
18 Sesame Street
Kings Park, NY 11754
Roger and Tamara Sayre
Gullible’s Travels
—The Next Generation
28 Rover Road, Apt. 141
Sunderland, MA 01375
(413) 665-0298
rsayre@forwild.umass.edu
 
Gabe Yankowitz
Alana Yankowitz
Team Physical Therapist
4743 Sabre Lane
Manlius, NY 13104
(315) 682-4475
(315) 487-0048 (fax)
gaberun@aol.com

Home Page

OFFICIAL OFFICIALS

Bob Knight
Official Gunga Din Impersonator
225 Wright Road
Vestal, NY 13850
(607) 754-3718

Caryn McDermott
Press Secretary
16505 Cranwood Place
Tampa, Florida 33618
(813) 961-0399
Lorraine Hom Terracina
Official Starter & Timer
72 Orange Street, #6F
Brooklyn, NY 11201
(718) 858-3752
 
Joe Knight
Official Race Coordinator
305 Jodie Drive
Vestal, NY 13850
(607) 785-8633

Marcia Miller and Marty Lee
Official Track Queen & Consort
11 Riverside Drive, Apt. 4LW
New York, New York 10023
(212) 877-0320
(212) 877-1748 FAX

Home Page

PROBATIONARY MEMBERS

Kathy Barone
7820 Hyacinth Lane
Cicero, NY 13039
Art Gunther
2-19 Lawrence Place
Piemont, NY 10968
Jeff Moreland
6400 U.S. Route 11
Homer, NY 13077
Paul Bennet
Out there somewhere….
Dan Harrison
562 Upper Mt. Road
Fire Bush, NY 12566
Paul Quinn
1410 Stainton Drive
Lakeview, NY 14085
Kelli Bert
16 Sunrise Drive #18
Newfield, NY 14867

Josh Kantowitz
75 Grand Blvd.
Binghamton, NY 13905

Scott Robert
Out there somewhere….
Rudolf Carlstein
Out there somewhere….
Erin Kelly
7924 Ellicott Road
West Falls, NY 14170
Francine Stracuzzi
Activities Coordinator
Out there somewhere….
Rich Davidson
Southwest Coordinator
Box 3709
Englewood, CO 80155-3709
(303) 773-682
7
Jamie Kimberley
2 Park Lane
Little Falls, NJ 07424

Kristin Tschinkel
2A Parnal Lane
New Paltz, NY 12561
(914) 255-7093

Michelli Doti
Out there somewhere….
Warren Kish
2-19 Lawrence Place
Piemont, NY 10968
Lauren Wallack
7 Sesame Street
Kings Park, NY 11754
Melissa Epstein
Out there somewhere….
Michael Lee
582 17th Street
Brooklyn, NY 11218
Joe Weiss
30 Brook Drive
Milltown, NJ 08850
Jeff Fox and Anne Finnegan
Travel Coordinators
Dept. of Mathematics
University of Colorado
Boulder, CO
Mary Ellen Lennon
Winthrop Mailing Center
Harvard University
Cambridge, MA 02138
 Chris White
204 English Street
Jamestown, NY 14701
David Gerrer
Out there somewhere….
Kristin Minalick
19 Clyde Street
New Hyde Park, NY 11040
 Deb Widman
74 Lyncrest Ave.
New City, NY 10956

Home Page

HONORARY MEMBERS

Frank Appell
Field Events Coordinator
59 Scofield Street
Walden, NY 12586
(914) 778-2232
Lea Freund
6 Alexander Drive
Randolph, NJ 07869
Josh Levy
30 Huntington Steet
Lowell, MA 01852-2715
Jean Davidson
c/o Betty Norejko
12 North Street
Mohawk, NY 13407
(315) 866-7944
Tom Keller
4 Arapaho Ct.
Suffern, NY 10901
Wyllys Stetson Newcomb, Jr.
Tuskmen Coordinator
Beacon Village, Apt. 52D
26 Beacon Street
Burlington, Mass 01803
(617) 272-4106