THE BUNN HILL MEMORIAL RUNNER

Volume 20............................................................... PUBLISHER: E.R. WHITE

June 1998........................................................ EDITOR-IN-CHIEF:: W. H. BARKER

THE OFFICIAL VOICE OF
                 AMERICA'S MOST EXCLUSIVE ROAD RACE

OLSON OVERTAKES AILING WALLACE

SPORTS WORLD A-BUZZ WITH NEWS OF THE UPSET
"Free! Free! Free at last! Thank God I'm free at last"
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LOGO99.JPG (28432 bytes) BRUNSWICK (AP) -- On his third Bunn Hill Run, Mike Olson achieved the unthinkable, winning the Run after twenty-three years of victories by Gary Wallace. Wallace, who was ill the week leading up to and including the race day, was philosophical about the loss. Well, no, he was downright giddy with pleasure: "No more pressure! No more sleepless nights! The monkey is off my back! I'm free, free, FREE! Oh God, life is good! Life is GOOD!

Olson had twice before threatened Wallace. In his first BHMR in 1990, Olson came in second to Wallace by over two-and-a-half minutes. Apparently despairing of ever overtaking Gary "the Human Gazelle" Wallace, Olson disappeared for five years hoping that Father Time would be helpful (those in the Youngster Division always have this tactical advantage). In his reappearance in 1995, Olson again placed second... but this time by only 10 seconds! This was an omen of things to come...

Webmasters Note: Actually, Gary and Mike tied. When Mike read the following year's newsletter that he had been beaten by 10 seconds, he became so enraged that he vowed to beat Gary if it took the rest of his life. Thanks a lot Bill. - The Webmaster.

 

 

WEBMASTER'S NOTE: USING  TEXT SCANNER FROM HERE ON...

The Bunn Hill Memorial Runner, June 1998 Page 2

Wallace, relishing his liberation, trotted in at fourth place. Second and third were taken in a tie between the old veteran Gabe Yankowitz and the Gen Xer Josh Kantowitz. Yank, always wanting to help younger athletes, was overheard giving Kantowitz much helpful advice and encouragement during the Run based on his years of running experience and professional training: "Get the hell away from me, you young nitwit!" "If you pass me, jerk, you'll never have an old age to worry about!"

Gary Truce, the Obi-Wan Kenobi of BHMR, finished in a respectable fifth place, followed a few minutes later by Chris Sullivan. Chris is now the first "second generation" Bunn Hiller to achieve full membership status by finishing his second BHMR - his first BHMR was in 1991. (It appears to have taken Chris six years to have forgotten how "good" it feels to run uphill for two-and-a-half miles!) Chris's parents, Jim Sullivan and Pat Wrobel, were overcome with emotion at the noon Victory Party. ("We tried to bring him up right - how could this have happened?! We thought he was a sensible kid, agood kid! and now this!")

The usual flunkies pulled up the rear of race Appel, Knight, Collier, Sullivan (the elder), and Barker. We will not, however, say anything further about the order or the times of these, ... ah.... aging athletes. Hey, at least they made it around the (almost) seven mile course, more than most Mr. and Mrs. Americans could do!

ALUMNI JOURNAL

BINGHAMTON (VIP) - Check out page seven of the Spring 1998 Binghamton Alumni Journal: an article by Margery Heffron on BHMR. It actually makes us sound respectable (though Margery did a fine job in all other respects). If you suspect BHMR Press Secretary Caryn McDermott might have had a hand in this..., well, obviously true! See From the Mailbag... for the instigating correspondence.

SENIOR CITEZEN NEWS

VESTAL (AARP) - In news of relevance to senior citizens..... The BHMR Executive Committee voted this fall to change the O.T.H. Division age cut-off for 1998 from 51 and 1/2 to 52 and 1/2. The effect of this on the numbers eligible for the O.T.H. Division was not announced.

 

The 28th Annual
Buun Hill Memorial Run

Sunday, June 21, 1998

Harpur College

9:00 AM, Gym West

Headquarters: Lehman Hall

"An institution since 1969!"
"The Breakfast of Champions."

 

"BUNN-HILLER-OF-THE YEAR 1997"

RESTON (1RS News Service)-Now we are all too well aware that we are not quite as young as we were at the first Bunn Hill Memorial Run, twenty-nine years ago in 1969. But things are getting out-of-hand when Roger Knight admits that he forgot where he was while running along the Infirmary Road! Now Roger has always had a lovable, space-cadet manner. And, as everyone has always agreed, it is quite fortunate that he wisely chose to marry a mental health professional. But come on Roger! -forgetting where you are when running the Infirmary Road? Even YOU should know better! For this bit of idiocy, we proudly declare
Roger "Knightmare" Knight

BUNN-HILLER-OF-THE-YEAR 1997!

HEADLINES!
Lest you think that ridiculous headlines are only to be found in the BHMRunner or the National Inquirer, here are actual headlines that appeared on newspaper articles:

Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Farmer Bill Dies In House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?
Stud Tires Out
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

The Bunn Hill Memorial Runner, June 1998 Page 3

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
British Left Waffles on Falkiand Islands
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Eye Drops Off Shelf
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Reveals
Coal Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved Ones
War Dims Hope for Peace
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery, Hundreds Dead
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Fired Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing Air Head

 FROM THE MAILBAG....

Another "Bunn Hill West"?

20 June 1997

I am delighted to have just received the 1996 BRMR rag, and to note my apparent promotion to Rocky Mountains Coordinator....

Jeanne now goes by Jeanne Wilison again, and lives at 5953 South lola Way, Englewood, CO 80111. We live about a mile apart, which preserves one big neighborhood for the kids. Alison (15 next week) and Mark (12) are doing fine - band, soccer, great grades, friends the parents like.

I notice somewhat fearfully that there are other BHMR refugees within shouting distance, in Boulder and Englewood. We may actually have to assemble, and establish the Western BHMR. I'm sure we could find an uphill couple of miles around here somewhere, and could possibly report results, despite the fight deadlines, in time for publication in the official BHMRunner. Just an idea, s6 far.

Greg Appling

PS - I'm married again, to Judy Morgan, who teaches psychology at the Community College of Aurora. We met there when I worked there too.

Another lame excuse...

23 June 1997

Once again I have a lame excuse for missing the Bunn Hill mega-event. You may recall a few years ago when I showed up exactly 168 hours late for the Bunn Hill competition. Well, this year I was determined to make it on time. Then "the man" strapped me with babysitting a computer system for the weekend. This presented me with a moral dilemma. My choices:

1. Tell them to "take this job and shove it" (Johnny Paycheck)

2. Cancel my engagement at the Bunn Hill extravaganza.

Faced with this fork in the road of life, I opted for the security of keeping my job, in hopes that the day will come when I shall climb to the top of that mountain (Bunn Hill) and say "Free at lasL.. Free at Last... Thank God almighty I'm free at last".

Next year!!!! Captain America

P.S. Any replay or re-broadcast of this message without the express written consent of the commissioner is prohibited. (But go ahead anyway).

 

The cause of all our troubles...

15 August 1997

From: Caryn McDermott, BHMR Press Secretary

To Chuck Dickson, Director
Alumni and Parent Relations
Binghamton Alumni Journal

Dear Mr. Dickson:

I have recendy received and enjoyed your Summer 1997 publication, especially the section devoted to "Celebrating Binghamton Alumni." However, as Press Secretary of America's Most Exclusive Road Race, the BUNN HILL MEMORIAL RUN, I fmd it my duty to inform you of a major miss on your part. Never in the annals of your publication have I seen reference to one of our most illustrious graduates, William Barker ('68), who has served as Periodical Publisher, Head Big Guy and Han Solo Look-Alike for the past twenty-seven years. This will not do!

The Bunn Hill Memorial Runner, June 1998 Page 4

Mr. Barker and his staff of Assorted Others From Here and There have worked devotedly over the past years to maintain a tradition dear to the hearts of all Harpur compulsive alums, that is the Running of Bunn Hill. We do appreciate your recognition of BHMR Webmaster Gary Wallace through his long-anticipated induction into the Sports Hall of Fame (or whatever), but we strongly feel it is time to honor our leader and Chief Person Most Likely to Shame the Rest of Us Into Showing Up.

So, in the interest of True Embarrassment, I am enclosing several copies of Mr. Barker's recent endeavors on behalf of the Bunn Hill Memorial Run Foundation. I sincerely urge you to give them at least a minute or two of consideration and you cannot help but notice how little we have matured! This could be a major sign of encouragement for ALL alums; I am sure you will agree. When Mr. Barker is not devoting time to The Race and its Peripherals, he dabbles in his spare time as a professor at Bowdoin and Yale, which as you know is quite a commute, thus proving again his devotion to The Run.

Sincerely,
Caryn McDermott
Press Secretary, BHMR

An electronic voice from long ago.

Fri, 22 May 1998

While I manage to ignore most of the alumni journal, I certainly read with great interest about your efforts on behalf of the BHMR. And certainly I couldn't help but smile seeing the names of Charlie Collier, Bill Schecter and Gabe Yankowitz.

I don't think I ever properly thanked Charlie for lending me his super light outdoor spikes (they didn't help) that last year and Bill Schecter for serving as an unknowing role model since I became serious about running about 18 years ago. I say about 18 years ago, because, unfortunately I was not as serious as I should have been from 1964-1968. Anyway, probably that last year Bill was circling the track AFTER practice was over and I think it was "Flash" Feldman who joined me in questioning his sanity. Bill just smiled and replied that each step he took on the track was another step toward being "in shape." That's kept me going plenty of times in less than ideal running conditions.

I don't think I can make it back to Binghamton this year, but next year I'm definitely going to make an all out effort to be there.

Take care and please give my regards to any of the members of the team from our era who might remember me.

Stephen J. Katz
Serials Librarian
Colorado School of Mines
Arthur Lakes Library
1400 Illinois St.
Golden, Colorado 80401-0029

skatz@ mines.edu
(303) 273-3024
(303) 273-3199 (FAX)

Webmaster's Note: A Map of the course was included somewhere on this page.
To see a map, click here: Bunn Hill Map

In case you get lost: Binghamton U. (607) 777-2000 Lehman (607)777-4054

 

The Bunn Hill Memorial Runner, June 1998 Page 5

 OFFICIAL RESULTS

27th ANNUAL BUNN HILL MEMORIAL RUN
FANATICS DIVISION
June 22, 1997       9:00 am        6.85 Miles


Men's course record: Gary Wallace 36:14 (1981)
Women's course record: Tamara Sayre 42:35 (1990)

Place Name Time

1 Mike Olson...... 45:43
2 [Josh Kantowitz..46:42
2 [Gabe Yankowitz..46:42
4 Gary Wallace 48:26
5 Gary Truce 53:31
6 Chris Sullivan 57:39
7 SteveAppel 59:21
8 RogerKnight 63:12
9 Charlie Collier 70:39
10 JimSullivan 71:34
11 Bill Barker 77:12

Oops! There were no women runners this year! There were also no entrants in the Preserve Your Life Division.

WALKERS DIVISION

June 22, 1997 6:30am 6.85 Miles

(Ellen Appel {No fimes allowed! }
Lauren Appel
Morgan Appel
Caroline Barker
Sean Barker
Betsy White

Pages 6-8 contains a list of "THE 1998 BHMR COMMITTEE", "PROBATIONARY MEMBERS", "OFFICIAL OFFICIALS" AND "HONORARY MEMBERS". This list is available for commercial purposes and may be obtained from:   Mr. Web@bunnhill.com